The Onion, August 14, 2006 | Issue 42•33
DUBLIN, OH—Members of the OCLC Online Computer Library Center’s Editorial
Policy Committee, which oversees the Dewey Decimal System library classification
system, were no closer Monday to assigning a definitive call number to the
recently published Jim Belushi book Real Men Don’t Apologize. "With all
due respect to the author, we remain unsure how to categorize this particular
work," said committee chair Leslie Buncombe, who, despite repeated readings,
still wasn’t sure if Real Men was "an actual book." "What is it?
Autobiography? Self-help? We can’t even tell if it’s fiction or nonfiction,"
Added Buncombe: "Too bad it can’t be shelved by its ISBN number. Maybe it’s
Fantasy Biography? I don’t even think there’s a code for that." If no decision
is reached within the week, librarians may be forced to shelve it in the
"phantom zone" between Jenny McCarthy’s book of marriage tips and novels in
which a cat helps solve a mystery.
